I’ve always been of the idea that seeking validation is no way to operate.
Validation if “shrunken to the amount of people whose approval matters to you” seems to be the way if you still crave it.
The majority are after the likes, favs and RTs. Their esteem is built on those factors. That’s not healthy.
I personally don’t crave validation for anything. I’m pretty much indifferent to compliments that I get for any work I’ve done. I’m grateful and appreciative for the kind words but it doesn’t fuel me. I don’t live off of that. I’m just happy that I did the work.
Ryan Holiday gives his opinion on validation in a James Altucher article below.
“John Kennedy Toole killed himself because his book was rejected. That’s so sad to me because then the book won the pulitzer prize,” Ryan said.
I’m always happy when a friend says they like my writing. But I’m exceptionally happy when a complete stranger writes to me and says they like my writing. I don’t know why this is. There’s still a piece of me that craves validation.
So I asked Ryan, given that we still want people to like us, how can you be creative or if you don’t like your job, how can you persevere if you’re seeking other people’s approval?
He told me how he judges his own success. “I’m trying to shrink the amount of people whose approval matters to me.”
He gave an example.
A U.S. Senator wrote him. He said he reads “The Daily Stoic” everyday. “I really liked today’s entry,” the Senator said. “It’s exactly what I try to think about for my office.”
That’s the approval Ryan chose. He’s not after 10 million views on Facebook.
“I try to think less about if what I’m doing is popular and more about if what I’m doing is being proven right.”
It’s the same for entrepreneurs. You just need to attract a core group. And offer them real value. Because marketing won’t matter if your product sucks.
Know your scene, know how to help them, and ignore the rest.