“Notice when you’re off and comeback quickly.” This quote grabbed me during a morning drive to work.
Why are you off? What are you doing that is conflicting with your balance? What are you not doing?
You have to come back quickly because being down and out is not optimal. It’s not healthy. Trust me I know.
One day, before basketball practice, I was shooting around my former college coach, Chris Diasparra, told me that he could tell I was depressed. He could just look at my face and see the mixed emotions. Everything was just happening too fast. I hadn’t built the strength physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually to withstand life’s obstacles.
I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know much during college. My awareness rating was low. I was blind boy. I knew I was off because I barely slept and if I did, I’d wake up many times in a pool of sweat. I could barely eat. I wasn’t thinking the same. I notice my thoughts took a complete turn for the worse. I judged people. I was a creature of emotion, not logic. I was so angry. Playing basketball had stressed me out so bad; I couldn’t wait to party and drown in the liquors. I felt worthless. I had failed at learning life.
After graduating College, I moved back home, and decided I had to spend some time alone. I had to get rid of all the outside distractions and connect with myself before I self-destruct.
One of my favorite rappers, Ab-Soul said in an interview, “I think we’re all born with everything we need already.” I needed to look inward and bounce back. I meditated and kept a journal to flush my mind of everything. Music,books and documentaries were vital tools to help me expand my mind. I was growing. I was charging up. I was evolving.
“The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and “As a Man Thinketh”, by James Allan were monumental in helping me clean my mind. The Secret was another book/documentary that founds its way into my life. Taking in all of this new found knowledge and then applying (which is key) contributed to a tremendous glo’ up.
To quote the great Ace from Paid In Full, “My body different. I’m breathing different. You understand what I’m saying.” Things were changing. I was thinking different. I was moving different. I was breathing different (I worked on it).
I was beginning to understand the ins & outs of this world. Learning the truth hurts. Learning about the system. The odds are stacked and we have to move strategically and be able to finesse. Learning money and not blowing it to keep up with whoever flexing on the gram. I reached another level of consciousness. I was learning life. I fell out of love with being seen, attending every party, drinking way past my limits, and impressing people. I fell in love with silence, observation, and BEING myself. I noticed when I was off but it just took me several years to figure how to comeback. But I came back dammit.
Today I have my days just like everybody else. But what’s different is I know how to bounce back quickly. I still have barriers to break in my mind and I make strides every day to do that. No longer will I waste time playing the victim because there is nothing powerful in that. I’m trying be here for a while. There are somethings in this life that I want to see. I have to make sure my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual diet is on point.
Before I close, my message to the youngins’ who need that guidance and can’t fully understand life yet is this: None of this shit is going anywhere. All of this shit is going to be here when you get old. I’ve seen dudes with opportunities mostly related to sports and music where they rather sit with their supposed homies, smoke, drink,pop pills, chase females, and blow their money so they can receive likes on social networks. FOCUS. Go put that work in towards achieving positive and life-changing goals. The money, clothes and females are always going to be there. While leaving that stuff alone and chasing things that you’re truly passionate about, you’ll see who really got your back. Go handle your business and leave “the homies” alone for a while. You’ll see real quick who your real friends are. Just be patient.