My brother, Carl Lamarre, please share your story Love One:
It’s funny how life works. While a lot of people enjoy reciting the adage, “Adversity builds character,” with such fervor, many fail to realize that adversity can also destroy. If you’re not mentally equipped to handle the numerous hindrances thrown at you, you’re bound to shatter at any given moment.
I’d like to think of myself as a man of God. Do I sin? Yes. Do I sometimes walk astray from my path of righteousness? I do. But, the biggest thing that I’ve learned about myself over the past 12 months is that God holds all the cards regardless of how you play your hand.
I remember last year, I sat back and analyzed my life. I legitimately told myself that I was in a good place. I was doing ok financially. I was with several prominent companies. I was healthy. I thought I was invincible. Then, reality struck.
The girl that I was dating vanished from my life without a trace. The job that I once deemed sacred laid me off the day before my vacation. I was crushed. Thoughts of suicide stemming back from my high school days became recurrent nightmares that I started living all over again. My body began deteriorating because of my anxiety. Visits to the doctor became frequent. He questioned my mental health and wanted to send me to a psychiatrist in hopes of regaining my life back. I developed muscle twitches that ran rampantly throughout my body because of my excessive worries. I was a lost cause. I pleaded with God and wondered why he was taking everything away from me. I couldn’t fathom his reasoning for allowing me to struggle with such regularity. Because of the constant pain and disappointment, I almost resorted to cutting myself like I once did during my sophomore year of college. Luckily, I didn’t. I didn’t because I realized that I came too far to simply succumb to all the pain and struggle in my life. I cried to my mother and asked her if something was wrong with me. She reminded me that all of this was part of God’s plan to make me a stronger individual. I listened, and then we prayed.
Slowly but surely, I began regaining my composure. Despite losing my job, I began freelancing aggressively in hopes of proving my worth and ousting any doubts that pervaded my mind. I was a man on a mission. I worked for six to seven different companies at once while helping my mom with the bills. I realized that I wasn’t a loser; I was just a man who was lost momentarily because he was entangled in a web of doubt. It’s so easy to question your purpose when you’re drowning in a pool of oblivion and there’s no one to save you. The thing is that someone is there to save you, if you let them. I lost faith in God, but he never lost faith in me at all. Not once.
Now, I’m an unabashed man of God who revels at the sight of prayer. Because of him, I have a new job and a stronger understanding of life. Don’t give up so easily because things aren’t going your way. Just trust and everything will work out in your favor. All you need to do is follow the hand of God and let him steer you down the course of life. I promise you it’ll be worth it.
Love is Love,